Last Updated on December 30, 2021 by Morris Green
Heartbreak is truly one of the most difficult things a person can experience. A breakup often comes with a host of complex emotions, and some of those, especially the harder ones, may feel as though they will last forever. Because it can be such an intense experience, it’s important to navigate that period of time with mindful practices in order to come out on the other side healthier, happier and stronger for the experience.
Read on for tips to help you deal with a broken heart in the healthiest ways possible.
One of the most difficult parts of a breakup is not knowing what to do with all of the bigger feelings you have inside. This can often lead to mistakes such as dating too quickly, substance use, engaging in unhealthy practices under the guise of self-care or making choices about your ex or your current lifestyle that you may regret later on.
Fortunately, there are constructive ways to handle some of the intense emotional energy you experience after a heartbreak. Find ways to expend some of that energy that will serve and bolster you rather than weigh you down or create more problems, such as a new hobby at the local art center, a reinvestment in a childhood musical instrument, a new exercise plan using the thrive patch or a fun class at the gym with your gym buddy.
All of the feelings that may crop up for you at this time can be incredibly taxing, which can prompt many people to push them down and ignore them. However, the only way to properly work through the feelings you have is to let them happen, as ignoring them will only prolong the pain and intensity you feel. When you feel the urge to cry, laugh, shout or stomp your feet, accept it and work through it in a healthy way that allows the feeling to be released rather than bottled up.
Regardless of whether you ended the relationship amicably or it ended in conflict, there was a reason things happened the way they did. In order to achieve personal clarity, it’s important that you take steps away from your ex-partner to examine your own heart and personal trajectory without the feedback and framework of your relationship. Take steps to unfollow your ex on social media if necessary and eliminate or reduce contact as much as possible.
Your friends and family were there well before your relationship began, and they’ll be there for you in the wake of this ended relationship and any others to come. Surround yourself with people who can provide support in whatever ways you need, whether that’s a shoulder to cry on, a listening ear or even a distraction.
In the immediate aftermath of a breakup, it can be tempting to idealize the relationship and remember all the good times you shared with one another. Many people even confuse these feelings with others and try to get back together despite major incompatibilities or problems that existed in the relationship. Make sure to take plenty of time to examine the realities of your relationship and breakup, and try your best to steer clear of thought patterns that may actually be efforts to avoid feeling pain rather than actual feelings of love and loss for a perfect partnership.
Relationships end for a variety of reasons, and while reflecting on the ways you contribute to unhealthy cycles or toxic patterns can be beneficial as you move forward, it’s rarely helpful to ruminate on the ways you messed up or may consider yourself to be unworthy. Take plenty of time to look back on your relationship with a healing lens, and certainly take responsibility for the ways your behavior made things difficult, but always remember that these things don’t make you inherently unlovable. Every breakup has important lessons, and it’s far better to learn from them than to dwell in negative self-talk.