Imagine your son or daughter saying these words to you. How do you feel? How do you react? These three words are as powerful as “I love you,” but in an entirely different way. Your child tried drugs. What should you do?
How to (Not) React
The moment your child admits to trying drugs is tricky. It’s an intense moment filled with fear, disappointment, and even anger. The fact that they’re telling you after the fact hurts. The fact that they tried drugs hurts even more. Then there’s the fear; fear of how long this has been going on, if you didn’t do enough, if they’re addicted, and if they’re in trouble. This single moment can be overwhelming, which is why preparing for it before it happens is important.
Do: Avoid freaking out.
Yes, your child tried drugs. Yes, this is serious news. But they told you.
If you were in their shoes, how hard would it have been to tell your parents? How scared and vulnerable would you have feel? And how traumatic or painful would it have been for your parents to freak out?
Most parents uncover a drug habit. Take pride in the fact that your child came to you with the news instead of hiding it. The best reaction you can have is a calm one, even if it means acknowledging them and saying, “Let’s talk about this later” so you can compose yourself and prepare.
Don’t: Assume the worst.
Not every child springs the news because they’re in trouble. It could be they recently tried a drug out of curiosity or due to peer pressure. The fact that they are talking to you puts them a step ahead of everyone else. Instead of assuming the worst, see this as an opportunity to continue their education and help them make a good decision moving forward.
Do: Listen.
It’s the one thing parents of individuals that are addicted to drugs and alcohol often say when asked what they would have done differently. More often than not, they would have listened more.
Ron Grover opened up about this question at DrugFree.org, and his take on listening is encompassing. He said he would have listened more to his son, but also to counselors and professionals. He also said, “Listening is very different than searching for answers.”
When your child admits to trying drugs, listen to them. Let them open up in a judgment-free zone. Communication is crucial.
Don’t: Think it’s too late.
Just because your child tried drugs doesn’t mean all is lost. As FamilyLife.com says, it’s never too late, and it’s never too late for you to do good. You cannot change the past, but you can change the future.
Drug Education Starts Young
Educating and preparing your child to face the realities of drug and alcohol use starts when they are young. But some parents think they can only do so much. Don’t fall prey to this idea. The truth is your influence over their decision-making will continue into adulthood.
If your child says they’ve tried drugs, see it as an opportunity to discuss the experience. Talk to them in depth about the short- and long-term effects of drug use. You can give them three vital decision-making tools: your shoulder to learn on, your ears to listen, and your advice and knowledge to make the right choice.