If you want an individual in your life to recover, don’t enable their addiction. Have you ever heard this advice? Maybe you read it online, in a book, or heard it from a counselor or medical professional. Either way, it’s good advice. Enabling doesn’t help anyone, but what exactly is enabling? With so many online (and offline) resources pointing fingers at this, that, and the next thing and calling it enabling, it’s time to stop and learn what it really means to enable an individual that is addicted.
The Definition of Enabling
Enabling comes from the word enable.
According to the Oxford Dictionaries, enable (as a verb) means to “give (someone) the authority or means to do something; [to] make it possible for.” It also means to “make (something) possible.”
In the context of substance abuse, Psychology Today likens the act of enabling to that of empowering. It’s an interesting comparison because the people surrounding an addict have the influence to empower them to continue or to discontinue substance use and abuse. In fact, you may have more influence over enabling than you think.
Are You Enabling an Addict?
In terms of mental health, enabling occurs when the natural consequences to an individual’s behavior are removed. If you’re stopping or interfering in the impact of consequences that stem from an addict’s behavior, you are enabling their addictive pattern. But what constitutes interfering? Here are five examples:
- Protecting Them From Legal Consequences: Sometimes, getting in trouble with the law is rock bottom. While the legal ramifications of substance abuse can be scary – especially when it comes to the push to seek maximum sentences – there are some things you should not fully protect an addict from. Shielding them from all legal consequences can enable their habit.
- Hiding Their Addiction From Friends & Family: Did your mom ever tell you that if you’re hiding it, you’re probably doing something you know is wrong? It’s simple but sound logic. Addicts often do things that are wrong – from mistreating family to ignoring their responsibilities – and hiding those actions from friends and family so they appear normal, as if nothing is wrong, enables.
- Covering for Them: Most addicts eventually lose their job because of their addiction. While the loss of a job – particularly in today’s job market – is coupled with major consequences, it’s sometimes part of hitting rock bottom. For an addict to realize the need for change, they have to start losing things. It’s not unlike a child losing something they enjoy due to bad behavior. Covering for them shields them from the natural consequences of their behavior – it enables.
- Feeding Their Addiction: You can feed an addiction in numerous ways. One of the most common is in the form of money. Maybe you keep giving an addict money because you don’t want them to start stealing. If they aren’t seeking addiction help, chances are you’re enabling by feeding their addiction with a needed resource. Don’t.
- Putting Yourself in Jeopardy: Never put yourself in jeopardy to “save” an addict from the consequences of their actions. It’s hard not to do, especially when the addict is your son, daughter, brother, sister, or parent. But taking the fall won’t help anyone, and it will enable the addict.